Beginnings are always a mixed bag of feelings. Beginnings are a start, but also an end. A start to a new journey to mark the end of another journey, whether it be the conclusion of a foregone chapter or merely the end of the absence of this new journey. Beginnings can engender dread, anxiety, or excitement: the breath before the exam clock starts ticking, the overthrow of land’s dynasty by gravity as one takes the leap, the hum of energy crescendoing to a peak to jumpstart a night to remember. Beginnings are the reunion of an old friend, the acquaintance with a former lover, the resurgence of an ancient rival. Beginnings are pesky sauces flinging themselves to immortalized freedom on the back of expensive clothes. They are the arrival of a carefully marketed bright orange product designed for the aforementioned ones' doom.

Beginnings are love and heartbreak; peace and anger; glee and depression; confidence and shame; cute succulents and rotting flowers; heavy shipment boxes and dark chocolate espresso beans and paper lanterns and lucky waving cats. Cozy fires and stifling furnaces and frigid igloos and beaten sleds and frozen hearts warmed by sweaters of love. Wilting leaves and flourishing sprouts and blooming fruits eaten by eager mouths and peeled with graceful hands. Persimmons and figs and birds perching in souls are all beginnings. Words. l e t t e r s and so-ng-s and scribbles and equations, too.

Every moment is a beginning. A chance for something new. An opportunity for change. A gamble for beauty. An end to the past and a wave to the future. Time is the beginning of meaning because it gives credence to the word beginning.

If beginnings were atoms, we would be swimming in matter. Beginnings are atoms. Atoms are beginnings. Every unit of the world upon observation creates change. Beginning is the start of change; the introduction of the show and program we have prepared for you tonight ladies and gentlemen is.

It’s almost time for the beginning of a new year. It’s almost time for the end of 2021.

I wonder about the beginning of a new self. It’s not like there’s anything special about the beginning of a year, when every moment is a new beginning for myself, but it’s a convenient time to reflect on all the beginnings, on all the changes that have affected myself, and the broader world. In a short while, another beginning will come..

And… Ah ha there it is.

The 99th one, huh. It’s getting close. We better be careful for what comes next.


The End.
or is it?

This is the 99th installment in my experiment of publishing raw, lightly edited mini-essays every day towards achieving 100 public pieces. Check out the rationale and the full list here.